Read my lips - mercy is for wimps! There's a reason "oppose" rhymes with "dispose"...If they get in your way, kill them!
Kefka Palazzo is the antagonist of Final Fantasy VI and a wrestler in VGCW. He debuted as a member of The Drac Pack and additionally as Dracula's tag team partner. He revealed himself to be the main antagonist of Season 5 when he stole the Dragon Balls and wished for godhood, only to be defeated by the combined efforts of those hunting the Dragon Balls and a newly-revived Vegeta. He is now VGCW's interviewer, and held the Casual Championship title during Season X.
- 1 In Final Fantasy VI
- 2 In VGCW
- 3 Non-Royal Rumble Record
- 4 Gallery
In Final Fantasy VI[edit | edit source]
BWOOP BWOOP BWOOP BWOOP BWOOP BWOOP BWOOP
Kefka is a misanthropic clown-ish court Mage and the main antagonist of Final Fantasy VI. He was one of the first to have taken part in an experiment to fuse espers with humans to receive their power, a process which drove him to madness. He is most frequently remembered for poisoning children and being one of the few video game villains to successfully destroy the world.
In VGCW[edit | edit source]
Toward the end of the 2013-03-19 show Dracula was seen conversing with an unknown VGCW Superstar. As the scene cut to black, a laugh similar to Final Fantasy VI's Kefka's was heard. Later Bazza confirmed that it was indeed Kefka.
On 2013-04-02's intro (The Gladiators), a picture of his face was flashed briefly at the end. He made his first onscreen appearance alongside Dracula later that night, fighting the crumbling tag team Raw Power. Kefka won by doing absolutely nothing, as Dan Hibiki helped Dracula pin his soon-to-be ex-teammate Mr. Satan before the clown was even tagged in. Later in the show, he stood alongside Dracula and the rest of the Drac Pack as Dracula seized ownership of VGCW. While Dan and Vegeta were known quantities and were lined up for shots at titles, Kefka had nothing planned for him and had yet to show what he was capable of.
Season 4: The Drac Pack Empire[edit | edit source]
Kefka first hinted at what he might have in store for the VGCW during the 3 on 1 fight vs Red after Dan lost to the Casual Champion, largely slapping around the champ and breaking up his attempts at power moves. His first official match came when Dan brought to Dracula's attention that Kefka had yet to do anything, so Drac put the clown against... well, Dan, in an Extreme Rules Match. Kefka at first got somewhat roughed up by Dan, but he was by and large unfazed by his weak attacks and began to show what he really could do. He even laughed when Dan threw soda in his face, to which he responded by throwing Dan into the crowd. Kefka also displayed some surprising athletic ability, and might be involved in a very rare VGCW moment with multiple 2 counts. Proving that Final Fantasy VI doesn't have a job system, Kefka handily disposed of Dan and extended his undefeated streak. Dracula was not surprised by the outcome of the fight he had set up, going on to claim that Kefka was his strongest fighter.
Likely seeking to get the VGCW Championship back in the hands of The Drac Pack following the betrayal and subsequent death of Vegeta, Dracula booked Kefka in 2013-05-15's 6-man Battle Royale for a chance to become #1 contender. Before the match, however, Kefka decided to play a little trick on the audience. After the other five opponents were in the ring, the audience was left waiting for the mysterious last competitor to exit. Rather than play his own theme, however, he dug up the theme of the highly popular but inactive wrestler Sabin and had it play for a few seconds. Once the audience had gotten excited over what they belived to be the suplex master's return, the music stopped, Kefka let out a big laugh, and entered the ring to his usual theme. He fought well enough to make it to the final two, but his last opponent, Groose, had wisely saved his energy to take out Kefka. Despite his best efforts, Kefka could not stop the Groosinator.
On 2013-06-02, Kefka and the rest of the Drac Pack (besides Drac himself), went to the ring for a 6-Man Tag Team Elimination match against Vamphound, to try to protect Drac from a Little Mac attack. Despite the match's seeming importance, Kefka clearly had no interest whatsoever, being eliminated first without pulling off any of the impressive moves he used against Dan. He didn't even help outside the ring, leaving the newly turned Phoenix Wright and Dan to fend for themselves. After the loss, Dan tried to pick Kefka up and rally him to Dracula's defense, but Kefka punched Dan in the crotch, stating his intention to go solo and take over the company by other means. And, indeed, with the teased introduction of the Dragon Balls in Season 5, Kefka's laugh ominously rang in the distance.
Season 5: Striking Out Solo[edit | edit source]
As the hunt for the Dragon Balls began, Kefka largely stayed out of it so far, choosing instead to focus on his wrestling career. He competed in a Triple Threat match against Little Mac and Chief Arino for a VGCW Championship match, and despite successfully baiting both his opponents into crashing through Table-San simultaneously, Kefka would ultimately be pinned by Mac after a Star Punch. He then went on to face off against the General Manager of Hats himself, Gabe Newell, in a First Blood match on 2013-07-20. Kefka took a tremendous amount of punishment in the fight, enduring two Wallet Squeezes and a number of huge slams to the body. But despite the vicious beating he delivered, Gabe just wasn't able to make Kefka bleed, and the clown secured victory after busting Gabe open on the ringpost.
A couple shows later on July 31st, Kefka would get a regular match next against Charles Barkley, who had been on a downward descent for quite a while and was looking to get a win to break out of it. However, Kefka was above such charity, and sent Barkley back on his way downwards, while he himself looked to gain more momentum. The following week, he took part in a Triple Threat match against AVGN and Sagat. Choosing to stay out of most of the action (apart from being caught in a very long roll up), he simply watched as Sagat pinned the Nerd.
Following this match, he disappeared. He was not seen for months on end, and when he finally did make a reappearance, it would be in the most shocking way possible.
End Game 5: Ascension of a Madman[edit | edit source]
"I've acquired the ultimate power! Observe...Such magnificent power! You're all nothing more than fleas compared to me now!"
At End Game 5, the Space Cowboys managed to gather the Seven Dragon Balls. However, before Nappa could make their wish, Kefka swooped in and knocked out the Saiyan, taking all of the Dragon Balls and making his way to the ring. Revealing that he has been hiding in the shadows the entire time, he then summons Shenron, and uses his wish to become a God. He then casts Holy on the Dragon, killing him in the process. Unwilling to accept this outcome, Safety Valve, alongside the Space Cowboys, WarioWare Inc., and The Practice, mount an assault on the now seemingly unstoppable Kefka. However, despite their combined efforts, they were unable to do any notable damage on the Clown. Kefka then casts Barrier, surrounding the Ring in a unbreakable barrier. Lamenting the power Shenron granted him, he states that it is still enough to turn the world into a World of Ruin. Then suddenly, Vegeta materialised right in front of him. Confused by his sudden reappearance, the Prince of Saiyans fought with Kefka. However, Kefka was still too strong for the Badman. However, the Barrier that surrounded the ring was down, allowing everyone (apart from Gabe, who he threw out of the ring) to use their finishers to finish off Kefka, changing back to his normal form. It was revealed by Vegeta that Shenron was leeching off of his energy to reverse Kefka's wish. Cursing the dragon, he asks what his fate is, with Vegeta replying that he's left it up to Gabe.
Season 6: Ascension of a Corporate Clown[edit | edit source]
"Gah! How dare they put me in a place like this! ...Hmph! I just can't believe it! What a bore."
Being called to Gabe's office, he learned that his fate would be... becoming the new interviewer in VGCW. Rather than take this position so that he may attempt to regain power, he was upset at the offer and didn't want to. Even Adam Jensen advised against it, citing his...well, VERY recent attempt to destroy the world-and Kefka took his side! Even then, Gabe needed SOMEONE to interview the other wrestlers to keep tabs on the happenings in the VGCW building, making Kefka complete the triforce of VGCW Management-for better or worse. Most likely worse.
Though humiliated and humbled, Kefka would once again have a chance to shine on like a crazy diamond at a Royal Rumble on 2013-11-26. Entering in at #38 and enduring the likes of both DK and Air Man, he would ironically face off 1 vs 1 against his enemy and employer: Gabe Newell. It was Fat Man vs. Madman in a struggle of titanic proportions until Gabe unceremoniously tossed Kefka outside, ending his chance for a title shot and escaping the interviewer job for the forseeable future.
Speaking of interviewing, "Kefka's Korner" ,as his interview segments were soon dubbed, would gain popularity, as Kefka insulted his guests, much like legends like Roddy Piper before him loved to do. Bowser was the first guest, and after Kefka corrected him on how many finishers he took before beating Dracula, Bowser laughed it off. His next guest was the GM himself, and after insulting Gaben, Kefka ended up in a match with the boss..inside Hell In a Cell. After giving the GM a beating, Kefka was squashed. Kefka's Koner's next segment featured Mike Haggar, who was about to face Gaben for the VGCW Championship. Kefka told Haggar that it would literally be a squash match in Gaben's favor..He was right.
As part of the 2014 Christmas Special, Kefka found himself in a Steel Cage Match against Segata Sanshiro, Zangief, and Mr. Satan. Segata'd win that match, and later on, Kefka's Korner revealed Gaben had another "savior" to wrestle, and was told he'd probably be going to Hell for his failed attamept at godhood.
A couple of weeks later, Kefeka'd get the chance for a little payback against one half of Wario Ware Inc, and took down Wario. Waluigi wanted revenge, and he got it the week after Star Road, as Waluigi took down the clown. Not to be detrred, Kefka found himself in the Money In The Bank match at End Game 6, but Wario, or rather, Wario's knocked out body, would prevent him from grabbing the briefcase.
Season 7: Down With The Clown[edit | edit source]
Kefka would continue to host Kefka's Korner, and during the Feburary 24, 2014 show, the Korner would have the reveal that Illidan and Gary had joined forces when Kefka asked the Star Road winner about his recent backstage attacks of people Gary had a beef with. He participated in the Fatal Four Way next week, and was eliminated by Sonic.
Kefka's next moment, before actually entering the match, would go on a long rant on the Royal Rumble event, calling out the audience, predicting that they will get hype for several favorites to win, only to watch a terrible wrestlers none of them liked win the Rumble and face Proto Man for the VGCW Championship. Perhaps Kefka jinxed himself, as he not only failed to win the Rumble, but the Royal Rumble winner was none other than Dr. Wily, setting up a very thematic grudge match and proving him wrong.
On April 1st, Kefka interviewed Gary Oak about Illidan's defeat. After Gary said that Illidan'd won had he landed his finisher, Kefka called Gary a douche. He then managed to trick the audience for the second time. After Phoenix entered the ring, a Newcomer Challenge jingle played, and King of All Cosmos' theme followed. Just like last year, the audience got bewildered, and Kefka laughed at them. Again. However, Phoenix decided to destroy him with the Lie Detector -> Verdict -> Objection sequence for his unfunny April Fool's joke. Kefka would have no better luck the next week, where his chance for a Casual Championship match would be stolen from him by
Shadow Grey Fox. Perhaps showing he had more guts than brains, or maybe because Gary's constant proclaimations annoyed the crap out of him, Kefka would challenge Illidan himself for a match at End Game 7, a match that could have been the biggest singles win in Kefka's career...
But was instead, an overwhelming beating, as Illidan would repay every insult Kefka had made with pain, Shadowmoon Valley Drive him through Table-San, and then Shadowmoon Valley Drive Kefka once again in the ring, on a chair, as an exclaimation point before scoring the pinfall. It was an absolute slaughter, and to make matters worse, Kefka would come out after the Ness/Red match to try and stoke the fire of further violence, only to fall prey to a Giga Impact and PK Starstorm swanton bomb. Overall, End Game 7 was an overall ass-kicking to the clown so severe, it might even shut Kefka up for a bit.
Season 8: Still Clowning Around[edit | edit source]
But of course, it was Kefka, who if anything, is always slow to learn a lesson. He laughed off his End Game beatings (perhaps literally) and showed up on the first show of Season 8 to face the MITB holder, Sonic, in an extreme rules match. While he was looking strong for a while, Sonic doesn't stay down easily, and proved it by taking the victory in the end. Despite looking strong, Kefka had suffered another ignoable loss.
Two weeks later, Kefka showed up again, this time facing up-and-coming heel, Guile. Kefka appeared, once again, the stronger wrestler, until Guile got mad. In a heated and bloody match, which also contained the longest Obama Roll in recorded history, Kefka hit Guile with the Kef-5 at the last moment, but Guile would not stay down. He responded with his own finisher, and Kefka was unable to show the same endurance, losing the match. Guile was, as usual, subjected to a mountain of booing, and Kefka's losing steak went up to 8-0.
However, that losing steak wouldn't last much longer. The next Night, Kefka went up against Segata Sanshiro, a former casual champ. The fight went back and forth, with both Kefka and Segata showing domniance at different times. However, Kefka was able to get his finishers off, while Segata was unable to launch so much as a Rings of Saturn. While Kefka pulled off the Kef-5 and, oddly, a Bionic Elbows that he had apparently borrowed from Adam Jensen, it would be an Obama Roll that would get him the win, and finally break his long losing streak.
Despite his lack of winning success, Kefka was still popular among the VGCW universe. When the next #1 contenders match was done by poll, Kefka was voted as one of top seven with ties. To determine who is out of the chamber, Kefka was booked in Fatal Four-Way tables match, and Octodad was eliminated. Series of Beat the Clock matches were held, and Kefka had a rematch against Illidan. Kefka made mistake by using his finisher outside the ring and failing to capitalize. Illidan capitalized on his with a SVD, and Kefka started off as first two. Facing Ganondorf, Illidan, Dracula, and Phoenix, Kefka appeared to have little chance. He decided to focus on the weak link Ezio, and eliminate him with two Kef-5's. Once all men entered, Illidan used his finisher. However, Phoenix decided to interrupt and save him before Illidan could pin him. Kefka showed his gratitude by pininng Phoenix with a roll-up. As Illidan and Ganondorf were eliminated by Dracula, Kefka unleashed the Hand of Judgement (Cobra) and pinned his former ally. With this massive upset, Kefka earned Contendership against Scorpion.
Kefka would brag about his victory, or rather, have someone else brag for him. The incorrigible Kefka-on-a-Stick would accept all the praise for pinning all the guys. He ended up upsetting Kefka though through his demand that he "Win the Matches". The two are still not on speaking terms. Kefka would talk up a good game, but in the actual fight, he floundered against the champion. He started off well, but simply couldn't last long enough to withstand Scorpion's assault, and his might was tested. It was found wanting. Kefka would have a close fight with Adam Jensen before the season was over, but Adam would end up getting revenge for Kefka's God Rampage at long last, and Kefka would end the season with little to show for it.
Season 9: Tears of a Clown[edit | edit source]
Kefka would enter Season 9 on a high note, being voted into the Second Great Tournament with the most votes out of anyone in the running. The people were still very much down with the clown, no matter what his win record was. He would go up against a man who was in no mood for his clowning, former GM Baz McMahon. In the end, despite his high number of votes, Kefka couldn't grip the trout hard enough, and fell in the first round. He would go up against Wario in the first round of the Jobbers Tournament. They had fought before, with Kefka coming out on top once. Kefka clearly remembered, and wasn't about to let that turn around. Wario entered the fight on a terrible losing streak, and left with a worse one. Kefka easily styled all over him, and he left the Jobbers Tournament in the very first round.
Season X: Casual Clown[edit | edit source]
Kefka started a streak, beating newcomers Zubaz and Toad with relative ease. On March 31st, he was booked in 2-1 Handicap match with Segata Sansihro against Red, and easily beat him with strength of numbers. With four wins in a row, Kefka was booked in Casual Championship match with three others. Kefka knocked Arino out of the ring, and began climbing the ladder while Flint and Eggman were pre-occuplied with each other. Arino rushed in and kicked the ladder, but Kefka grabbed the belt mid-air and fell down with it, earning his first belt.
Kefka began to gloat about his victory and taunt his next opponent Groose. Kefka had a non-title match on May 26th, where he power-walked to the ring and faced Gary Oak and Break Man in Extreme Rules Triple Threat match. After the entire kitchen sink was thrown to the ring, Gary used Master Ball on Kefka, and Break Man pinned him. At the End Game X, he would have even match with Groose. After two traded their finisher, Kefka styled on with a handstand in the middle of the ring. However, Groose immediately knocked him down, used a comeback and headbutted Kefka. Groose then pinned him for three, taking belt away from Kefka.
Non-Royal Rumble Record[edit | edit source]
|2015-11-17||Goemon, Zubaz||Triple Threat Tables||Loss||18-25-0||10-12-0|
|2015-10-13||Sonic, Toad, Flint||Fatal Four-Way Elimination||Loss||18-23-0||10-11-0||Casual Contenders Match|
|2015-08-04||Miles Edgeworth, Raijin||Triple Threat Steel Cage||Win||17-22-0||9-11-0|
|2015-06-09||Groose||Singles||Loss||16-22-0||9-11-0||Lost Casual Championship|
|2015-05-26||Gary Oak, Break Man||Triple Threat||Loss||16-21-0||9-10-0||Non-Title Match|
|2015-05-05||Dr. Eggman, Flint, Chief Arino||Fatal Four-Way Ladder||Win||16-20-0||9-10-0||Won Casual Championship|
|2015-03-31||Red||2-on-1 Handicap Tornado Match (w/ Segata)||Win||15-20-0||9-10-0|
|2015-01-06||Wario||Singles||Win||12-20-0||7-10-0||Jobber Tournament Quarterfinal|
|2014-11-25||Baz McMahon||Singles||Loss||11-20-0||6-10-0||Great Tournament First Round|
|2014-11-18||Sabin Rene Figaro, Donkey Kong||Triple Threat Elimination||Loss||11-19-0||6-9-0|
|2014-08-19||Scorpion||Singles||Loss||11-17-0||6-8-0||For VGCW Championship|
|2014-07-29||Ezio Auditore, Dracula, Phoenix Wright, Illidan Stormrage, Ganondorf||Elimination Chamber||Win||11-16-0||6-7-0||Eliminated Ezio, Phoenix, & Dracula, Won #1 Contender to VGCW Championship|
|2014-07-22||Illidan Stormrage||Beat the Clock, Singles||Loss||10-16-0||6-7-0||Lost at 9:50|
|2014-07-15||Phoenix Wright, Octodad, Dracula||Fatal Four-Way Tables||Loss||10-15-0||6-6-0||Not involved in the decision|
|2014-05-20||Sonic the Hedgehog||Extreme Rules||Loss||9-13-0||5-5-0|
|2014-05-13||Illidan Stormrage (w/ Gary Oak)||Falls Count Anywhere||Loss||9-12-0||5-4-0||He was not prepared|
|2014-04-08||Gray Fox, Barret Wallace, Wario||Fatal Four-Way Hell in a Cell||Loss||9-11-0||5-3-0||Casual Championship #1 Contender Match|
|2014-04-01||Phoenix Wright||Singles||Loss||9-10-0||5-3-0||Came out with Newcomer Challenge jingle and King of All Cosmos' theme.|
|2014-03-04||Wario, Flint, Sonic||Fatal Four-Way Elimination||Loss||9-9-0||5-2-0||Eliminated second by Sonic|
|2014-02-04||Sonic, Wario, Barret Wallace, Dr. Wily, Scorpion||Money in the Bank||Loss||9-8-0||5-2-0|
|2014-01-28||Waluigi (w/ Wario)||Singles||Loss||9-7-0||5-2-0|
|2014-01-14||Wario (w/ Waluigi)||Singles||Win||9-6-0||5-1-0|
|2013-12-24||Zangief, Mr. Satan, Segata Sanshiro||Fatal Four-Way Steel Cage||Loss||8-6-0||4-1-0|
|2013-12-03||Gabe Newell||Hell in a Cell||Loss||8-5-0||4-1-0|
|2013-11-05||Vegeta||First Blood||Win||8-4-0||4-0-0||In God Kefka form, attacked by everyone after the match|
|2013-11-05||Dr. Eggman, Wario, Gabe Newell||Gauntlet||Win||7-4-0||3-0-0||In God Kefka Form|
|2013-11-05||Waluigi, Flint, Dr. Wily||Gauntlet||Win||6-4-0||3-0-0 (100%)||In God Kefka Form|
|2013-09-07||AVGN, Sagat||Triple Threat||Loss||5-4-0||3-0-0|
|2013-07-20||Gabe Newell||First Blood||Win||4-3-0||2-0-0|
|2013-07-11||Little Mac, Arino||Triple Threat||Loss||3-3-0||1-0-0||VGCW Title #1 Contender Match - Pinned by Mac|
|2013-06-02||Vamphound||Six Man Tag Team Elimination (w/ Phoenix and Dan Hibiki)||Loss||3-2-0||1-0-0|
|2013-05-15||Pyro, Adam Jensen, Flint, Groose, Dr. Wily||Six Man Battle Royale||Loss||3-1-0||1-0-0||VGCW Championship Contenders Match|
|2013-04-26||Dan Hibiki||Extreme Rules||Win||3-0-0||1-0-0|
|2013-04-17||Red||3-on-1 Handicap (w/ Dan Hibiki and Vegeta)||Win||2-0-0||0-0-0|
|2013-04-02||Raw Power||Tag Team (w/ Dracula)||Win||1-0-0||0-0-0||Never tagged in.|
Gallery[edit | edit source]
|VGCW Active Roster|
|Real People||Chief Arino|
|Nintendo||Bowser · Captain Falcon · Flint · Ganondorf · Groose · Red · Reyn · Ridley · Toad · Waluigi|
|Sega||Dr. Eggman · Earl · Kanji Tatsumi · Knuckles the Echidna · Sonic the Hedgehog · Toejam · Vyse|
|Capcom||Air Man · Asura · Break Man · Dante (DmC) · Dan Hibiki · Dr. Wily · Guile · M. Bison · Mike Haggar · Miles Edgeworth · Phoenix Wright · Zangief|
|Konami||Dracula · Ebisumaru · Goemon · Senator Armstrong · Solid Snake|
|Anime||Gary Oak · Nappa · Vegeta|